how many houses?
john mccain when asked how much property he owns
said i'll get back to you when i find out.
how many communists in the state department,joe?
property in transylvania is cheap these days.
george carlin was in favor of building homeless shelters
on the nation's golf courses.
the fortuneteller's crystal ball just took a direct hit.
those designer drugs kick in.
little joe lieberman scratches john's itch.
the lady in new mexico said we'll chase bin laden to the gates
of hell.
the tortoise, the hare,
both claim dubious mileage.
the gates of hell open promptly at eight.
two tickets per customer.
how many houses can dance on the head of a pin?
strangers overstay their welcome in the guest room.
the architect just went crazy.
every time a soldier dies in iraq
the cock goes doodle doo.
---Scott Wannberg
august 21
iraq, you roll
prime minister maliki says yep go home in 2010.
that was a movie i saw with roy scheider and helen mirren, john
mccain responds.
barack obama is making your gas expensive.
we went there to kick sadaam's ass,
george bush crooned.
i think it's successfully been kicked,boys.
time to consider moving on.
i eat the constitution every morning,
says george.it builds up my fiber.
i pour soy milk on it.
the surge dresses in serge.
there ain't no mortgage crisis in houston cause laura's looking
for a house.
the scary movie ran out of actors
the screenplay's a might thin
guess we're up next
can't begin to understand this next pitch little joey grabs
reverend hagee by the hand i look into the eyes of moses
somebody get little joey a stiff drink and a head doc if i had a
pet monkey he'd be saner than these people since i only got
myself i'll have to turn myself in.
the sun one day
will give up on us
refuse us orbiting privileges.
okay, i admit it, i'm a poet
prone to creative overdrive
i didn't make too much of this stuff up
it happened just as our cameras recorded it the actors have been
changed to condemn the innocent the glowing city on the hill is
just one more wal-mart
---Scott Wannberg, July 23, 2008
somedays are just
like this
since when did it become illegal to have a sense of humor?
i only ask because i heard a brand new joke it was huge, claimed
it could survive you could see the flames for miles.
somedays are just like this;
a bullet just misses my head
must be all that herbal tea
send the new guy out for coffee
he might come back a winner.
my brother can outdance your brother.
i ran over a wanderer
i wasn't even in a car
he picked himself up and became president.
of what country, who can say.
soon the relief column will be sighted.
they put a hole in the doughnut
to give your finger something to do.
child labor laws will be on the active roster in tonight's game.
the daughters of the american republic
intimidated a little by their waning men.
there's a room out back.
you won't even need a key.
i think the hall monitor is a poet.
---Scott Wannberg, July 15, 2008 |
