RIPOSTE
by RIP RENSE |
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THIS, THAT, AND THE
OTHER. . .
(June 3, 2005)
THIS: Laura Bush is talked up as a presidential candidate.
THAT: Where is Rod Serling when you need him?
THE OTHER: The most frightening thing about this is that it could happen.
THIS: Naysayers claim that former deputy associate FBI director W.
Mark Felt took Nixon down, at least in part, because he had been passed over
for his department’s top job.
THAT: All the guys with conscience who were troubled by Nixon’s
behavior, such as White House deputy counsel Fred Fielding and White house
lawyer Leonard Garment, did nothing.
THE OTHER: We’ll settle for vengeance, if that’s the case.
THIS: The cover of the last L.A. Times Thursday Calendar tabloid section
featured yet another cutting-edge report on a brand-new phenomenon! Yes, it
was about. . .skateboarding!
THAT: Word is that the Times is feverishly working up an article
entitled, “The Combustion Engine: Will it Work?”
THIS: Felt’s family called him an American hero who saved the country
from “a horrible injustice.”
THAT: When you consider the risk the man took, his disgust with
Nixon’s illegal use of the FBI, the fact that Nixon had ordered the FBI to
stop investigating Watergate, it’s hard to disagree with the family.
THAT: Wonder how Mark would have Felt about W.
THIS: MTV tells Nine-Inch Nails it may not perform its
anti-war/anti-blind nationalism song, “The Hand That Feeds,” in front of a
portrait of “President” Bush, at the MTV Music Awards.
THAT: MTV, which poses as a bastion of free speech and liberalism, is
owned by Viacom.
THE OTHER: Another nine-inch corporate nail in the coffin of free
speech.
THIS: Laura Bush is talked up as a presidential candidate.
THAT: The second most frightening thing about this is that it makes
Jeb Bush seem almost attractive.
THIS: Seventeen multi-million-dollar dream palaces in Laguna Beach
slide down a rain-weakened hillside.
THAT: Be it ever so tumble, there’s no place like home.
THIS: “President” Bush dismisses Amnesty International’s report in
which the U.S. is called one of the world’s leading violators of human
rights as “absurd.”
THAT: Bush (and Cheney, who has emerged from winter hibernation) said
that all Guantanamo “detainee” claims of abuse were investigated, and in
almost every case were nothing but lies by “America-haters.”
THE OTHER: If they didn’t hate this country before, they do now.
THIS: Report: price of beef is up because there are not enough cows to
meet the demand for hamburgers.
THAT: If cows didn't hate this country before, they do now.
THE OTHER: “Now we like to air-condition, but the world has no
ozone ring/ Still they’re chopping down the forests for McDonald’s and the
Burger King/ Eating cows with such persistence doesn’t offer much
resistance/ to this cockamamie business.”---George Harrison.
THIS: There are many nations with far, far worse records on so-called human
rights, of course, beginning with China, and including quite a few vacation
spots in Africa.
THAT: Amnesty singled out the U.S. because it has always been
expected to set the example for avoiding sinister and diabolical tactics in
international relations---or at least hiding them well.
THE OTHER: Guess Bush believes that grabbing people on vague
suspicion, duct-taping their eyes and limbs for days or weeks on end, flying
them to prisons (but not calling them “prisoners”), keeping them in cages
indefinitely with no chance of trial---or shipping them to countries where
torture is a routine part of incarceration---is not a violation of human
rights.
THIS: Laura Bush is talked up as a presidential candidate.
THAT: Talk about a violation of human rights.
THIS: Paul McCartney writes children’s book.
THAT: Talk about a violation of human rights.
THE OTHER: Celebrities should stop writing children’s books and leave
children’s book writing to writers.
THIS: El Camino Real High in Woodland Hills orders the removal of a
hundred posters for a satirical school play. The posters depict Bush as
Groucho Marx.
THAT: “That’s our take on student speech and conduct,” said Principal
Kenny Lee.
THE OTHER: “Those are my principles. If you don’t like them, I have
others.”---Groucho Marx.
THIS: Said El Camino Student Jes Shah: “It taught us that the first
amendment certainly does not guarantee the right of free speech.”
THAT: Who says kids aren’t learning anymore?
THE OTHER: Depicting Bush as Groucho is outrageously degrading, rude,
indecent---to Groucho.
THIS: Pentagon report---released late Friday, of course, so as to be
buried in the weekend papers---confirms Koran abuses at Guantanamo.
THAT: Newsweek was cowardly in backing off its story about Koran abuse.
The Bush Administration has the mainstream press running scared.
THE OTHER: Read Dave
Lindorff.
THIS: The so-called Downing Street Memo proves what Riposte and
many others have maintained since before the invasion of Iraq: the attack
was planned well in advance, and the charges were trumped up.
THAT: Will this become the next Watergate?
THE OTHER: Not if Newsweek is covering the story.
THIS: The L.A. Times devoted a major feature to Michael Jackson's
tailor.
THAT: What of the sartorial proclivities of other persons on trial for
child molestation?
THIS: So-called “insurgents” in Iraq are upping the suicide bombings,
and assassinations of government figures are a dime a dozen.
THAT: “President” Bush says that there are no plans to withdraw from
Iraq until “the job is done,” or some ‘40s war movie dialogue like
that---while the U.S. quietly builds several enormous, permanent military
bases in the country.
THE OTHER: Can you say “51st state?” (Or 52nd, if you include
Saudi Arabia. Or 53rd, if you include Israel. Or 54th, if you include
Afghanistan. . .)
THIS: Marilyn Monroe’s painting of a rose intended for JFK fetches
$21,000 at auction.
THAT: Wonder what Monroe would make of all the insane idolatry,
fetishism and greed associated with her legacy.
THE OTHER: It's enough to drive a person to suicide.
THIS: The great George Mikan of the Minneapolis Lakers passes away at
80.
THAT: Old footage of Mikan at work shows a game of little physical
contact, a great deal of finesse, and systematic play-making.
THE OTHER: You know, just like today’s NBA.
THIS: “President” Bush dismisses Amnesty International’s report in
which the U.S. is called one of the world’s leading violators of human
rights as “absurd.”
THAT: “The sharpest criticism often goes hand in hand with the
deepest idealism and love of country.” ---Robert F. Kennedy.
THE OTHER: “Military justice is to justice what military music is to
music.” ---Groucho Marx.
THIS: Nine-Inch Nails lyric: “Just how deep do you believe?/ Will
you bite the hand that feeds?/ Will you chew until it bleeds?/ Can you get
up off your knees?/ Are you brave enough to see?”
THAT: McDonald’s slogan: “I’m Lovin’ It!”
THIS: Laura Bush talked up as a presidential candidate.
THAT: Pigs are circling the moon in formation.
THIS: Kim Jong Il calls President Dick “Vice-President” Cheney a
“bloodthirsty beast.”
THAT: Takes one to know one.
THIS: By the looks of those homes in Laguna Beach that slid down the
hillside, they probably averaged three-to-five bathrooms each.
THAT: Are the obscenely rich abnormally beset with digestive
difficulties?
THIS: Interesting quote: “George W. Bush and his gang of neocon
warmongers have destroyed America’s reputation. It is likely to stay
destroyed, because at this point the only way to restore America’s
reputation would be to impeach and convict President Bush for intentionally
deceiving Congress and the American people in order to start a war of
aggression against a country that posed no threat to the US. America can
redeem itself only by holding Bush accountable.”
THAT: What’s interesting is that this was written by Paul Craig
Roberts, a former secretary of the U.S. Treasury, former contributing editor
of the Wall Street Journal and National Review. A man who would normally be
referred to as a staunch conservative.
THE OTHER: To be a stanch conservative now, you have to believe that
science is “junk,” humans were sculpted out of clay by Gawdalmightee, the
world is here for humans to usurp, and Jesus is waiting in the bye-and-bye
with a nice silk suit, slippers, cigar and brandy for you. And possibly
hookers.
THIS: Mikan did it mostly with an agile, graceful hook shot---the
predecessor of Kareem’s “skyhook” (term coined by the late, great Chick
Hearn.)
THAT: These days, a beautiful hook shot is so rare as to be the
thrill-equivalent of a slam-dunk, back in the ‘60s.
THE OTHER: Hearn also invented “slam-dunk.”
THIS: This from Pat Buchanan, who anonymous sources say was eating
live baby birds when he wrote it: “For in the 1970s, a hero was any turncoat
who would sink teeth into a president who was ending with honor a war into
which the liberals had plunged this country. . .”
THAT: Damned if I know how the fall of Saigon, in which South Vietnam
was left to the communist north while the U.S. hastily exited, was ending a
war “with honor.” Damned if I know how Nixon’s “winding down a war” over
about six years of completely unnecessary death and maiming was “with
honor.”
THIS: Had it not been for “liberals” like Kennedy and Johnson, Barry
Goldwater might well have dropped the big one on Hanoi. (Of course, Pat
might have preferred that.)
THAT: Funny how Buchanan and many others refer to Kennedy and Johnson
as “liberals,” when they were both party to bankrupting the country in order
to fight a ridiculous and unwinnable war far from U.S. soil.
THE OTHER: You know, like Bush and Cheney.
THIS: The new Dodgers announcer, Charley Steiner, is one of those
guys who tries to speak wittily and authoritatively.
THAT: Instead of speaking wittily and authoritatively.
THE OTHER: Ex-Dodger announcer Ross Porter's affable recitation of
stats was a delight, by contrast.
THIS: A group called "Human Events" asked a panel of 15 conservative
scholars and public policy leaders to compile a list of the "Ten Most
Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries."
THAT: Among the choices: "The Communist Manifesto," by Karl
Marx and Friedrich Engels (No. 1), "Mein Kampf," by Adolf Hitler, "Quoatations
of Chairman Mao," by Mao Tse-Tung, "The Kinsey Report," by Alfred Kinsey,
"The Feminine Mystique," by Betty Friedan. "Origin of Species," by Darwin,
weighed in at No. 17.
THE OTHER: In terms of the number of deaths that it has caused, the group
seems to have overlooked The Bible.
THIS: Funny that the list omitted so many other obvious choices.
THAT: The complete works of Danielle Steele come to mind. "Big Russ
and Me," by Tim Russert. . .
THIS: News item: President Bush urged Egyptian President Hosni
Mubarak to show the world his country can set an example for others by
holding free and fair presidential elections.
THAT: Who says Bush doesn’t have a sense of humor?
THIS: Iraq Interior Minister says “insurgency” has killed 12,000
civilians. Add to that anywhere from 30,000 to 100,000 innocent Iraqis blown
up during the U.S invasion, depending on which report you believe.
THAT: “America, the world and Iraq is (sic) better off for what we
did in bringing democracy.”---presidential aspirant Sen. John McCain.
THE OTHER: "All war is a symptom of man's failure as a thinking
animal."---John Steinbeck.
THIS: The L.A. Times Pulitzer Prize-winning automobile columnist, Dan
Neil, endorses the Range Rover after seeing it climb nimbly up a 45-degree
rock wall in a canyon near Moab, Utah.
THAT: Good that Dan takes practical considerations into account.
THIS: Laura Bush is talked up as presidential candidate.
THAT: "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."---Groucho
Marx.
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