by RIP RENSE
KARL THE RATFUCKER
(Editor's note: The Rip Post, with apologies, suspends its anti-profanity
policy for this July 4th holiday, strictly in the interests of patriotism.)
June 29, 2005
you old Ratfucker, you.
Hey, it’s not my
term---it’s what convicted Watergate conspirator Donald Segretti’s team of Nixon dirty tricksters proudly
called themselves. And Karl Christian (yes, that’s his real middle
name) Rove was one of them, of course.
One of Karl’s early
marks, as reported in The Nation, was to steal letterhead from Illinois
Democrat Alan Dixon, then use it print campaign fliers promising “free beer,
free food, girls and a good time for nothing,” which he distributed at rock
concerts and homeless shelters. This was his sophisticated idea of
sabotaging an opponent. You can just read the Ratfucker mind. “A
good time for nothing---yeah, that'll play---that’s what all those filthy, depraved hippies
This is really the
only thing you need to know about Rove, who is “President” Bush’s
closest Ratfucker, er, advisor.
Once a Ratfucker, always
For that matter, it’s
probably all you need to know about “President” Bush.
But let’s pretend for a
moment that Karl is not a Ratfucker. Let’s pretend, just for fun, in the
spirit of patriotism on this July 4th week, that Karl is a sincere and
responsible leader of our nation, and examine his recent claim:
"Conservatives saw the
savagery of 9/11 and the attacks and prepared for war," he said. "Liberals
saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and
offer therapy and understanding for our attackers."
Yes, it’s hard to
imagine an adult advisor to the “president” making such a pompous,
idiotic, snide statement, but then, it’s hard to imagine Michael Jackson. Rove
really might as well have stood up and said, “Uh! Uh! Ooga! Booga! Uh! Uh! I
But let’s pretend again,
difficult as it may be, that this remark was sincere and substantial. . .
First, Rove's remark
asserts that “liberals” were not united in purpose with “conservatives.” I
wonder, then, just how he explains almost every member of Congress
authorizing Bush to use military action in finding and punishing 9/11
As I clearly recall, the
nation was dramatically united after 9/11. There was a single-mindedness of
purpose: find out who did this, and do whatever it takes to return the
favor. Including war. I certainly felt this way. The civilized world
did, as well.
Rove says this was not
the case. Which leaves two choices: either he is blind, deaf, and dumb, or
he is ratfucking.
I'll go out on a limb and
vote for the latter.
When in danger
of being outdone by the truth, you see, in the Rove world, you exploit hatred. So Karl
preened his whiskers, wiggled his tail, and laid on the junior high school
Ann Coulter sneering, averring that liberals offered “therapy and
understanding” for “our attackers.”
Um. . .just who were these
Do you remember anyone
calling for “therapy” for the 9/11 hijackers, let alone masses of
Hypnotherapy? Aromatherapy? Primal Scream? I don’t. Rove later
claimed to be referring principally to MoveOn.org, which did counsel
“restraint” and “moderation” after 9/11. Well, actually, MoveOn didn’t, but
its founder, Eli Pariser did---on his own website. Small error, Karl.
|“We” invaded Afghanistan to dethrone the Taliban,
which was a little like going to war against extras in a Three
Stooges Casbah movie.
Retraint? Yes, meaning
careful investigation and prosecution. Meaning no kneejerk massive military
action aimed at the wrong party. No invasion and occupation of Iraq at the
cost of several hundred billion taxpayer dollars (a lot of it
corporations, or unaccounted for),
nearly 2,000 U.S. troops killed,
somewhere around 20,000 wounded, up to 100,000 innocent Iraqis dead, and
country left in bloody mayhem.
Restraint? Gee, not a bad
Given that the polls
are now going Vietnam, late ‘60s---showing that even the most
uninformed, undiscerning, Limbought citizens are none too comfortable
with Iraq---yes, it seems Pariser was on to something with such dangerous “liberal”
concepts as “restraint.”
The poll numbers, of
course, are exactly why Karl made his ratty remarks. And why President Dick
“Vice-President” Cheney lumbered out of his lair to declare the Iraq insurgency in its
last throes---only to be immediately contradicted by Gen. John Abizaid, who
happens to be, um, in charge of U.S. forces in Iraq. And it's also why Uncle
Donald Rumsfeld appeared on every major network outside of Al-Jazeera,
condemning the naughty, naughty media for not covering the “good news” in
Iraq. (Memo to Don: perhaps newspapers should write about all the people in
the country who are not murdered, raped, or killed in car accidents each
It’s damage control,
that's all. An
apt term for those who have inflicted such massive damage.
And as for Pariser's call
well, I wouldn’t mind some indictments of terrorists! Indict them, try them,
and if found guilty, execute them. Easier than putting them up indefinitely
in Guantanamo, or having the CIA kidnap and export them to Egypt for
Speaking of torture, let’s look at what Rove does to the lovely word, “understanding.” Why,
he makes it appear unsavory, lily-livered, as if it is something that
suggests spinelessness and mollycoddling. (Perhaps he should turn in his
middle name.) Yes, those filthy liberal commiebastards, he says, were
promoting (gasp) "understanding."
Gawd save us from
The last thing Rove wants, of course, is to
foster “understanding,” which is, after all, the
opposite of Ratfucking. Understanding leads to. . .cooperation. . .which
leads to. . .peace.
With peace, there can be no more fun with the military,
no more plundering
nations for oil, no more endless wars against legions of phantom enemies, no
more pseudo-Christian crusade.
No fun for Ratfuckers at
Understanding? By Rove’s
reckoning, the historian David McCullough is a wimpy lefty, if not a
traitor. For I distinctly recall McCullough saying, right after 9/11, that
it is important to understand just what generated such hatred of the
United States as to result in meticulously planned suicide
attacks. McCullough’s thinking: if you can understand the hatred, you will
better understand the threat, and if you better understand the threat, you
are better able to protect the country in
|Of course, most of the 9/11 hijackers were also
Saudis, and punishing Saudi Arabia is practically like punishing
Finally, Karl the
Ratfucker claimed that “conservatives” prepared for war after 9/11. But
did they? The extremist Neocons, who are the dominant conservatives of the
day, had been pushing for war with Iraq since the day Bush was elected in
2000, even for several years before that---dating to the original Neocon
lobbying of Bush 1 to invade Iraq and remove Saddam Hussein. (Bush 1 was
smart enough to avoid that quagmire.)
The core Neocons, which
include Rove, persisted (they do that so well), drafting the
Project for a
New American Century document in the late ‘90s, which became the blueprint
for Bush (Cheney) Administration policy: seizure of Iraq, permanent
occupation of the Middle East, acquisition of oil---all in the name of
indefinitely fighting “terrorism.” Don’t believe it's permanent? There are three
massive permanent U.S. military bases under construction in Iraq,
coincidentally located right near. . .major oil centers!
So the Iraq war planning
was in the works long before 9/11.Conservatives, in other words, were
preparing for war long, long before Rove claimed. Which he knew, because he
was one of them!
But again, just for fun,
let’s say Rove was telling the truth, and conservatives “prepared for war” after 9/11. Well,then, gee whiz, they made a little mistake. . .
They um, went after the
The U.S. didn’t launch
an attack against the perpetrators of 9/11. “We” invaded Afghanistan to
dethrone the Taliban, which was a little like going to war against extras in
a Three Stooges Casbah movie. And Osama Bin-Laden---a Saudi who was trained
and armed by the U.S.---still lives, still plots. In fact, according to
investigative reporter Seymour Hersh, he was allowed to escape
through Pakistan so as not to rile up the conservative Muslim element of that
country too much.
Of course, most of the
9/11 hijackers were also Saudis, and punishing Saudi Arabia is practically
like punishing ourselves, given the massive financial and political ties to
Washington, the Carlyle Group, the Bush family.
The Saudis, of course, are actually bankrolling our bankrupt economy---along
with South Korea, Japan, and our good friiend (urp), China.
So “we” used 9/11 as an excuse to implement one of the greatest Ratfucks
ever---invading and occupying Iraq, a country that had nothing to do with
the crime. A country that posed no
military threat whatsoever to the U.S.. A country that was massively bombed
by the U.S. for many months before the actual invasion, in an unsuccessful
effort to bait Saddam into battle (forgot that one, did you?) A country for which evidence was
flagrantly, amateurishly “fixed” in order to justify the invasion. The so-called
Downing Street Memo
proves these things beyond a doubt (although they were reported widely by
European press and “liberal” western press when they happened.)
Of course, the
corporate-owned, Bush-cowed U.S. media are still dragging their feet on
the Downing story. Perhaps the recent anti-Iraq polls will embolden some of
the last newspapers with any semblance of integrity to start concertedly covering this
It’s only the largest in American history, that’s all.
Meanwhile, Karl the
Ratfucker, nervous like the rest of the Bush administration that the truth
will out, is back on the stump, trying to whip up hatred for all those evil,
That’s the Ratfucker
formula: inspire hatred of people who do not think as you do.
Come to think of it,
that’s also the Bin-Laden formula.
Great Ratfuckers think
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