The Rip Post                                                                                              


THE CONDOLEEZA CONGA
Cheney's hiding in the ground
And Rumsfeld's making ugly sounds
About how we're gonna fight two wars
If Uncle Sam gets good and sore
Then up jumps General Colin Powell
To tell the world to please calm down
Bush ain't really gonna bomb
He's just lonely for his mom!
So shake it once and shake it twice
Do the Condoleeza Rice
Condy's kind of cute and smart
She sure ain't no D.C. tart!
She speaks lingo just like Putin
And she's really rootin'-tootin'
Maybe she can run the planet
When they take your will and ban it
But what the hell does anyone care?
With no more ozone in the air
That's warmer every passing hour
While SUVs spring up like flowers
Build those nuclear bunker-busters
Charge on in like General Custers
Invade, invade, to get that grease
And all the while keep talking peace
Old Saddam's out of his mind
Got to kick his A-rab hind!
Make the world real safe and happy
For Carlyle Group and Bush's pappy
Parallels are rather funny
When you think of God and money
Here we go to war for profit
While terrorists fight for their Prophet
(Or what they're brainwashed to believe
'bout ancient script and twisted screed)
So shake it once and shake it twice
Do the Condoleeza Rice
Condy's found a happy home
Right next to the Capitol dome
She gets down and Bush pretends
Condy's some of my best friends!
Affirmatively goes her action
This black gal gives Bush some traction
So heidy-ho, and what the hey?
No one cares, invade away
Throw away the national surplus
Trillion bucks for Rumsfeld's circus
Long as folks are scared of jerks
With 50 virgins for their perks
We'll spend until the money's gone
And every morn's an H-bomb dawn
Because we're right, and Armageddon
Is just the way the planet's headin'!
So fly Old Glory next to the cross
And claim you work for holy Boss
Of course, that's not hypocrisy
Your cause is holy; theirs can't be!
Formulate all foreign policy
On Reverend Billy's silly prophecy
End free condoms and the pill
And cut AIDS funds to nearly nill
After all, them people's sinnin'
We're the ones God wills to winnin'!
Shake it once and shake it twice
Do the Condoleeza Rice
Show the world that you got soul
Let's all play Iraq and roll
And if you need a boogie-man,
Because Bin-Laden turned and ran
There's always old Saddam Hussein
He's plenty evil and insane
Never mind that Uncle Sam
Gave him the toys that go ka-blam!
Forget that Lady Liberty
Gave him the germs and gas for free
Just kick his ass and toast his moustache
Iraq is gonna be a fun bash
And when we pack and say "we'll see ya"
Then we'll take on North Korea
Or maybe not, because it seems
They've got the A-bomb of their dreams
And their leader with the bad hair
Will launch that bomb right through the fresh air
What's he got to lose, you see
When W. Bush says he can't be?
And if a lie should need quick-fixin'
Just call upon the brand-new Nixon
Old Dick Cheney might be sick
But he's our reborn Tricky Dick!

And should you need to do some snoopin
On our people, when they're poopin'
Place a call to old Poindexter
Or any Ronald Reagan extra!
So shake it once and shake it twice
Do the Condoleeza Rice
Rant and threaten like a dummy
Everybody do the Rummy!
Do the Ashcroft, put some Crisco
On your forehead in the disco
Bust a move like Wolfowitz
When you've lost all sense and wits
If there's need to cave and cow
Then you do the Colin Powell
And for that final step before
They destroy the whole dance floor
Do the Enron finger-pointer
And Supreme Court Bush-annointer.
Get into a Condy-line
Dance to beat internecine

From Chinatown to Raratonga
Do the Condoleeza Conga!

                                  ---Charles Bogle

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