AIEEEEEEEEE! MAIL
(Dec. 8, 2005)

            We get letters!
            There are many readers who have never been menaced by a rabid dog in the late stages of frothing madness. Perhaps the following uncensored e-mail---be warned, it is X-rated!---which came in response to my “Terrorists in the Voting Booths” column, will allow said readers to compensate for having missed that life experience. (The Rip Post is not responsible for spelling and punctuation idiosyncracies of our colorful contributors.)
            Letter # 1 was signed by a "Gene (last name omitted.)" The Rip Post heard from another person of the same name and address after this column appeared, claiming his identity had been used by someone else, and that he did not author this e-mail. Ah, the joys of the Internet! Still, rest assured that the text of this e-mail is accurate:
            How bout you fuckin Marxist hate everything about America, conpiracy mongering, faggot lovin shitstains just move to fucking France and leave the majority of rational thinking Americans the fuck alone. The nation sent a clear mandate to you buttfucks by delivering a conservative house, Senate and Presidency, you can't reasonably snivel about voting fraud with such a clear national mandate. Oh yeah, I forgot. IT was probably aliens from outer space that caused a shift in reality that caused it all. Paranoid fuckin weirdo.
           The Rip Post Responds: Whenever you wonder why the country is so “divided,” just refer to Gene's polite missive. He is the new Middle-America, suckled at the teats of Limbaugh, Coulter, Robertson, and the rest of the screeching radical fascist media demons. A few years back, when I wrote a column for the website, World Net Daily (I was one of the few non extreme-right writers there), letters just like Gene's choked my in-box on a weekly basis. Every column I wrote prompted a small avalanche of barely literate bilious obscenity straight from “The Heartland.” (I’ll never forget one that turned out to come from a Mormon minister!) Gene is the perfect specimen of Bush supporter, a mainline USA flag-waving “patriot” of the first order. And, yes, you guessed it, he is also a “Christian.” I discovered Gene's religious bent via a simple google search, which turned up a letter to a “Christian” website---without a single naughty word! I wrote back to him:
            So I must ask you, Gene, where in the Bible do you find justification for such uncouth language as you have used with me? Perhaps in the "Sermon on the Mount"? You have succeeded in confirming widely held opinions that many who profess to be Christians today are not practicing very Christian values. I allow for anger, but your letter is really quite appalling.
            Here is Gene's response:
            Oh boy, he knows how to do a google search. Sure, sometimes everyone just gets fed up with the stupid idiotic crap that you Marxist leftist hate American zealots spew. Yes, my darker side came out, as yours does, that is mans nature, his fallen man. The only thing that you seem to profess is division. Everyone should agree with your ideology or else they are fascist. Well please, consider France or Canada as I am sure they would welcome you along with your pal Kerry.
          I profess division?
          Letter # 2, from Wayne A. (name removed by request):
         (Quoting from a previous Riposte column) “Kerry is in. Game over. Bush out. I'll bet my Beatles albums on it. Even the 1970 ‘Let it be’ boxed set.” So who gets the Beatles albums? Don't you liberals get tired of being right all the time?
           The Rip Post Responds: No one took me up on the bet. You missed out! By the way, I am not a liberal. Or do you know liberals who support the death penalty and oppose “Affirmative Action” based on race (I feel it should be based on economics, with race a lesser consideration)? Don’t you get tired of making erroneous and presumptuous assumptions all the time?
          Letter # 3, which came from a reader identified only as ronen@highstream.net, took issue with my reference to Bush’s supporters being mostly white:
          You're a real prick trying to pin the blame on whitey. Just goes to show that people like yourself who write such articles are merely part of the problem by spreading such propagandistic disinformation. The only people who are to blame are white elitist traitors like the governing elites who have sold out their own white working class in this country to cheap immigrant labor and to be used as cannon fodder in wars to protect israel's interests and big oil. Insofar as many whites are naive and uninformed by the jewish press and the corrupt politicians, they bear some responsibility, but if they really knew how they were being used, they'd make minced meat out of the whores in washington and the chosen people who influence the media and steer our foreign policy. As far as electing Bush, this is a much better scenario than it would have been with Kerry. Bush is so going to fuck things up and further alienate the rest of the world from us (except for our "gallant" little ally Israel, of course), there will ultimately be a price to pay, and when white people start wisening up, they'll finally start asking the right questions: Who benefits? why? how? where? Things are moving along nicely.
          The Rip Post Responds: I am reminded of the Ku Klux Klan fellow that Howard Stern used to phone, who began each tirade with “WAKE UP, WHITE PEOPLE!” What an interesting mish-mosh of racism, anti-Semitism, and venom from “Ronen!” Where to begin. . .Well, by “Ronen’s” reasoning, because I noted that the overwhelming majority of Bush voters are white (a fact), I was therefore trying to “pin the blame (for Kerry’s loss) on whitey.” Actually, I pin the blame on the Democratic donkey for fielding a weak and unfocused jackass candidate. As for white folk supporting Bush, well, some polls have it close to 90 percent, but whatever the figures, one look at the sieg-heiling crowd at the Repugnican convention tells that particular Aryan story.
          “Ronen,” I must admit, actually made a valid point, through his spittle-dripping incisors and gnarled verbiage, about the government selling out the working class. Of course, “Ronen” limits this to the “white working class,” hewing to his racist agenda (or perhaps believing that non-white members of the working class are doing just fine.)
            When he notes that “whites” are being used as “cannon fodder” in wars “to protect Israel’s interests and big oil,” he seems to have not watched the big weekly news photo parade of American young people slaughtered in Iraq. Funny thing, but I see a whole lot of black and Latino faces, the occasional native American, and not a few immigrants from Mexico, the Phillipines, elsewhere. Why, a friend of a friend just lost her young son in Iraq, and the poor boy was half-black, half-Fijian. Guess non-whites don’t count, as far as “Ronen” is concerned
             He is correct, though, in observing that young people---little more than children, in many cases---are dying for big oil and Israel’s interests, not to mention Halliburton.
             And as for “Jewish press,” well, in 30 years of print journalism, I have never once seen an editor light a menorah in the office, or require reporters to wear yarmulkes. And every office I worked in had a nice Christmas tree every December. L’chaim!
           Letter # 4, from Mr. Ross Powell (rcpowell@satx.rr.com):
            I stumbled across your web pile of rat excrement today and felt compelled to send YOU a message - Bugger off! Your left wing Bi-polar ranting made me think you need to get back on the alien ship that obviously kidnapped you when you were an infant or better yet I'm thinking the best part of your brain ended up trickling down your fathers left leg during your conception. However, you opining about Iran's Sunburn missiles was a good read but you missed one tactical movement by the US: the use of numerous small nukes or an EMP device that could and would render all those missiles and their communications systems useless. The prospect of Israel taking on Iran is real and I have read in some other paranoid sites that it is coming in mid November. Your Iran analysis notwithstanding, I think this site and rense.com are giant festering buckets of vegan entrails. You can be assured however, that you and your ilk will never have any real power in this country; you are destined to continue to jerk off over the toilet using your lavender hand lotion from Mary Kay. Have a nice day, loonytoons.
             The Rip Post Responds: Wow! “Giant buckets of vegan entrails”---pretty creative!” Left-wing bi-polar?” Hey, all the best people are! As for the Sunburn missiles, the funny thing is that I never wrote about these missiles. Perhaps Mr. Powell has me mixed up with some other pile of rat excrement he enjoys reading. Still, in the spirit of generosity, I offer a comment here about his suggestion that “small nukes” be used against Iran. Here is the comment:
             “You call me ‘loonytoons?’”
             And here is yet another comment for Mr. Powell: there is no such thing as a “small” nuke. What else. . .Ah, yes, Rense.com is is my wonderful brother’s superb website, not mine. And concerning the phrase, “you and your ilk,” rest assured, Mr. Powell, that there is absolutely no one else like me. I’m the last of the litter, and they broke the mold.
            Finally, concerning the reference to onanistic practices with the aid of exotic liquids: well, I must agree that cyber-commentary often has much in common with masturbation, but um, what does this say about those who write letters to cyber-commentators?
            Letter # 5 (abridged): From Daniel Malone (danieldon@adelphia.net):
            If the exit poles are as accurate as you claim then why do we have a punch-card and a booth? Also, with so many people waiting in line to vote how can you be certain every individual was asked who they voted for? Furthermore, I wouldn't answer to some reporter if asked who I voted for after exiting the polling place, and I bet there are others like me. I know for a fact that no one was at my Precinct B in Ohio polling place asking people who they voted for president. You logic is flawed and derived of negative emotions. You need to look better at the facts and think before you spew out things that don't consider ALL the facts. We have a right in this country to speak our minds and I don't have a problem with your opinions other than the ones I consider untrue and not based on ALL the facts. Anyone who thinks the world is a better place with terrorists planning and killing needs to look at ALL the facts and a bit of history. No, I don't think they are a huge threat on their turf, but when they come over here with their destruction (and they did) they are. It took them years to plan the twin towers attack. The terrorist was planning this attack while Clinton was in office and he did very little with the intelligence. I know they new something was in the works. Clinton did nothing. Yet, you don't blame him for anything. Remember he bombed Iraq and killed civilians, but no one says anything about this. It is proof that you are one sided and no matter what Bush does you will disagree. You are upset because we don't have a democrat in office. I for one vote for no party. I vote for the best man for the job. Period.
          The Rip Post Responds: Compliments to Mr. Malone for his courtesy, and thanks for his time in writing. First point: I’m not quite sure what an “exit pole” is, but if I heard some people at the voting booths were threatening to use poles on my exit, I’d stay away, too. Second point regards this statement: “We have a right in this country to speak our minds and I don't have a problem with your opinions other than the ones I consider untrue and not based on ALL the facts.” This is like saying “I don’t mind your clothes except for the pants, shirt, socks, shoes, belt, coat, and tie.” Mr. Malone, opinions are neither true nor untrue. They are opinions. What’s more, you don’t have all the facts. No one has all the facts, not even that guy who won on Jeopardy.
            Based on the facts as I have read them, I don’t believe there is any reason left to give any credibility to close presidential election results in this country. There are too many variables, too much room for chicanery---from “spoilage” (a judgement call) to “provisional ballots” (often given to minorities) to touch-screen voting machines that leave no paper trail, to supervising state government officials who are flagrantly partisan. 
            Incidentally, Mr. Malone, I have written many columns in which I have faulted administrations dating back to the 1970’s for allowing---in fact, facilitating---the rise of terrorism. Finally, I couldn’t care less if the president were Democrap, Repugnican, or Whig, if he were intelligent, possessed of sanity, and could pronounce “nuclear.”
              Letter # 6 (abridged), from Scott T. Davis (davis3685@sbcglobal.net):
               Dear Rip, The west coast secession sounds good in abstract, but in realality it would be just as shitty as the current configuration. The Sperminator as dick-tater and that alien looking bitch shriver as first lady, get real Rip! I live in Illinois we have a superior form of voter fraud. . . Face the facts Rip the Tye dyed sixty's are gone groovey dude and Orwell's writings have come true, and yes it breaks my heart too!  God Bless you Rip and please stop drinking the bong water..
            The Rip Post Responds: Er. . .”realality,” Scott? What’s that you were saying about bong water?
            There was one more e-mail---or a series of e-mail---that I wished to print here, but alas, the caprices of the “save e-mail function” have made this impossible. I will summarize and paraphrase, and trust the reader to believe it is true. The e-mail was another genteel utterance of the "Gene" style, somewhat less profane but no less full of good wishes. I wrote back to the gentleman---let’s call him “Leo”---asking if he stopped strangers on the street to denounce them with profanity. This led to a short discussion of letter-writing etiquette, and how commentators are expressing opinions for many people---not speaking only and directly to one reader (schizophrenics excepted.) Leo didn’t buy it, of course.
             And like Gene, Leo turned out to be a “Christian.” When I suggested that he had not treated me in very Christian fashion, he said that my column was un-Christian as well. (He’s right---it’s non-demoninational.) Leo went on to inform that he had shown my website to a health care professional who concluded that I could be mentally imbalanced. (Hell, I could have told them that.)
             Finally, Leo noted that he was a Marine, prompting me to thank him (sincerely) for serving our country. His response was to let me know that when he fought for the U.S.A., he certainly had not fought for me.
           I thanked him anyhow. I figure it’s not his fault that he doesn’t understand that every soldier fights for every citizen, whether they like it or not. That the beauty of the United States is that lots and lots of different kinds of people with different ideas and opinions are united in love of democracy and freedom.
              Or used to be.
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